The laws of love

I went to the backyard of my house, where I planted the new flowers she wanted me to.

“That’s the problem with love.” She said looking at the flowers and I was looking at her. “It happens unexpectedly.” She continued. “You don’t see it coming... the moment you notice, you are already in love.”

“Do you regret falling in love with me?” I asked light-heartedly. After two months by her side, I could tell a few things about her, like the fact that she doesn’t like to be out of control but, sadly for her, her feelings keep on showing her the opposite.

“I haven’t said anything.” She answered and when she turned around to see me she was full of anger, but when her eyes met mine they softened immediately and I am sure she hated it as much as I loved it. “I believe you infer way too much about me.” She tried to save herself without hurting me, but I believe it was a waste of time, especially now. Didn’t I know well, by now, the way her eyes light up whenever we meet? 

I wondered if he had anything to do with all this excessive precaution but according to what she had told me it seems to have come even before him. Somehow, the idea of not being him but herself regarding this matter made me happy. I had had enough listening so much about him at the beginning.

“Why did you plant these?” She asked looking at the yellow and pink flowers. She was clearly annoyed even if she was trying hard not to show it, she would have preferred me not doing anything because this kind of acts could shake her heart, even if she would always act all high and unreachable.

“Because you told me you like them,” I said openly and she blushed. Oh! How much I love her feeling embarrassed cause that showed me she felt touched. Oh, how much I love seeing her feeling me because I was sure it was love; even, if I have also learned that showing love means weakness for her and she can’t really tolerate it.

She just kept on walking around my little garden saying nothing. I wondered when will come the time where she will just tell me what she is thinking and how she is feeling without me having to give her a hand.

“I guess you are happy,” I said smiling.

“What makes you think so?” She asked. Of course, she wouldn’t just agree, she would throw a question over my statement and I will answer because I know better she can’t put it out there.

“You seemed happy,” I replied and she looked at me and stuck out her tongue to me and I smiled. I wondered what was that mix of embarrassment and fear with playfulness and carelessness. It made little sense to me, but she made little sense to me at times, so it was just expectable.

I wanted to hug her and I have this feeling about she wanted to, but we were not allowed to and I was to respect her wish. Believe it or not, I thought it was a matter of patient, but who knows? In this little space where she can be herself and play around, I wonder if she would ever feel comfortable enough to let me reach her out without further hindrance. She looked at me and smiled so brightly that I thought that moment was around the corner.