The first question

“Do you like me?” He asked looking at her in the eyes.

“Well, we’re talking, aren’t we?” She replied.

“No, I want a straightforward answer. Do you like me or not? Forget the protocol and just answer, please.” He said frustrated. She just stared at him and he shook his head.

“I can’t understand how you are able to stay in silence in moments like this. You can’t even tell how unbearable this can be.” And she thought about caressing his hair to calm him down but touching was not allowed in that phase.

“Why are you asking me this today?” She asked.

“You are not answering my question but you ask and I am supposed to answer, right?” He sighed. “Because we have been talking for a while and I get the final purpose of all this, but after all this time I was wondering if other than you seeing me as a “decent man” to start a family, you have grown any kind of feeling towards me… I mean, that’ll be reassuring but I guess I am asking too much.” She looked at him apparently emotionless.

“Would this change after marriage?” He asked.

“What do you think?” She said and smiled.

“I am not a patient of yours, you know? You should work out your answers a bit more.” He insisted more calm, tired and a bit disappointed.

“Well, I do.” She answered.

“You do? It doesn’t seem like that to me.” He tried to tease her.

“I mean I do as an answer to your first question.” She said grabbing her bag.

“My first quest…” He couldn’t finish his sentence because his eyes open widely and his heart skipped a beat while a huge smile showed up over his sweet face when he understood it.

“See you, peace.” She said and left running, denying him the chance to see her reaction. Her heart was all over the place, but she was not going to say it.

Written on September 17, 2018.

Unless...

- Are you ready? He said turning his head around and I looked into his eyes wondering if he was talking to me. I know it may sound ridiculous not to understand he was talking to me when he was looking into my eyes as well. He is not the kind of boy that goes around looking at girls in the eyes and I am not the kind of girl that look at boys in the eyes, unless...

Unless...

    Unless...

- Are you? He said again and extended his hand to me and I looked at his hand. “Is this real?” I kept on asking myself and my unsure hand reached out his and he held it. He held it firmly and I felt so secure and it felt so warm... How did this happen? I felt like crying, I couldn't understand what was going on, but I felt so fortunated. It seemed like a dream come true but still so unrealistic for me. 

I kept looking at our holding hands but I couldn’t tighten it, I was afraid of making things disappear. He was walking in front of me without letting go of my hand and stopped suddenly, I almost fall over him but as I was moving in slow motion, as usual, therefore I stopped at the perfect time. He turned around looking at me.

- Is this okay with you? He asked looking at our hands and looking back at me. I didn't want him to let go of my hand but telling him to keep on holding it was embarrassing. What to do? I nodded with my head and looked to the floor. I felt how my face lighted up.

- Thank you. He said and as I put up my eyes with my face still facing the floor, I got to see his smile for a brief moment. My heartbeat sped up. Did he smile to me right now? I felt like crying again, I couldn't handle it. Was all this really happening? My eyes got teary, I had to blink before the tears appear up. 

- We are married. He said as he was walking without looking at me. We can hold hands, you know? He said and I felt reassured, was he really my husband? Was he holding my hand purposely? Was all this real? I gave myself a chance to break the magic and come back to reality holding his hand tightly and squeezed my eyes shut thinking everything will fade away once I opened them again. 

But when I opened them, his ocean eyes were looking at me once again and he was smiling brightly. I looked at our holding hands and his hand was slightly red because of the pressure of my handshake. I let go immediately but he caught my hand back and I looked to the floor again. I listened to a soft laugh and he started walking again.

- It is almost Isha time, let's go. He said as we were heading to the mosque and I thought “Ah, this is real! He wouldn't be holding my hand unless... I am his wife.” And the smile over my face could have illuminate the whole neighborhood. 

We were married and he was holding my hand with God’s permission. We were married and he was looking at me with God’s blessing. We were married and this joy was God’s decree. Yes, I finally met the one God made especially for me. I couldn’t have been happier and more thankful to my Lord... I couldn't keep myself from crying out of delight anymore as I just thought:

Is the reward for good [anything] but good?

So which of the favors of your Lord would you deny?

[Translation of the Holy Qur'an 55:60-61]