Growing up

“You've been doing such a terrible job.” I said aloud.

“What are you talking about now?” He, who was sit down next to me, asked surprised. 

There I was again, talking out of the blue about matters sounding in my head only; things like how I push myself away from the path just for him and what a huge thing I was doing against myself like that. But, he didn't know, of course, he couldn't even understand his own importance, nor the importance of the things I was keeping a distance with just for him... For him only. How could he know? He couldn't read my thoughts, nor feel my heart, it was an illusion I made in the air with my own expectations, such a false reality where I wasn't counting on the most important matters. 

I knew it was going to hurt, I knew he'd hurt me & I knew I'd hurt him, I just never realized about the magnitude of the whole thing. 

Yet I don't regret what we lived, today I'm stronger, I'm bigger, I'm smarter, I'm better; and maybe I'm not his version of better but I am my own, and since he has decided to leave my world, I guess that's enough.