“You've
been doing such a terrible job.” I said aloud.
“What are
you talking about now?” He asked surprised.
There I was
again, talking out of the blue about matters sounding in my head only, things
like how I push myself away from the path just for him and what a huge thing I
was doing against myself like that; but, he didn't know, of course, how could
he? He couldn't read my thoughts, nor feel my heart, it was an illusion I made
in the air with my own expectations, such a false reality where I wasn't
counting on the most important matters.
I was a kid, as usual, so
irresponsible, childish and whimsical as he used to say. And just for this time
I couldn't feel any enjoyment, there was only pain inside of me cause of the
wrong I did to myself, but above anything... cause of the wrong I feel I did to
him by believing what I believed because even when he wouldn't understand it now, even if not with the same
insanity maybe but with the same intensity as before, I love him... My heart keeps on beating
for him only, that boy, that silly boy of my heart.
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