Stay.

- “Leave!” She screamed and she sights when he left the room.

All those fights were driving her crazy and those discussions were taking them nowhere. But what else could she do but handle them the best she can? Wasn't he just doing the same? Even through all her disaster he didn't leave her and she couldn't explain what that meant to her, yet his presence wasn't a simple one, it was the constant feeling of a scary goodbye. 

She played that song she liked so much about changes and about love while spinning around in circles over and over again dreaming one more time about him; she may didn't say it but even when she was only a faraway hug for him, he was nearly the center of her universe. 

He may takes her to her limits, still it was him and no one but him who brings her the happiest thoughts of this world life because she built up a future around him and without him she didn't want to do a thing, nor be a thing. He rescued her when she was falling and now it was only him the person able to help her to stand up and not cause she was alone, not cause no one offer help, not cause no one could stand her, but cause he has that something that may her feel in a way no one else could ever. 

Because he was her silence and her words, he was her laughs and her tears, he was her beginning and her end, he was more than what he could ever imagine and more than what she could ever even admit. 

And maybe sometimes she was living in the hell, crying over and over again over reasons she herself couldn't understand nor get to manage, cause she was nothing but a lost soul in a cold world and he was nothing but a sad soul and still he was all she wanted, all she wanted... because somehow the heaven may give her a ray of hope on her way while he was on her road.

Yet no one but her was more conscious about their situation, about their nonsense, about the coming failure in front of her eyes... What else could she expect from someone like her trying to reach someone like him? He was light in darkness, for God's sake! And she was dead in life, nothing but a silly and innocuous child, so how could such a beautiful being like him take someone so awful and despicable like her? Still there she was dancing in circles, tearing up and wishing he would never really leave that door, wishing he would stay even through all her mess, she was begging to her God to don't ever abandon her and don't push him away. 

But at the end of the day it was all her fault; she just wanted him to be happy, to keep on shinning, to come back to the life he wanted, and she could see she wasn't part of it, she was just not good enough, she was way too far to be part of the black and white pieces of his game, still she kept on dreaming... dancing in circles because in her dreams he was hers, even when in reality she better than no one knew he wasn't and will never belong to her.

He sent her a text message saying he wanted to talk to her for a minute and he will wait for her down the stairs; but, she didn't want to listen, she didn't want to listen the words that could destroy her because he was all that what could help her to stand up. So before he may comes up the stair, she ran to drank all the pills she had, before anyone could stop her, and she hold the knife that may stop her blood from dancing ever again, she didn't want to dance without dreaming of him, she couldn't actually...

After an hour waiting he walked up the stairs and knocked on her door but no one answered... It was way too late, just way too late because she wasn't going to answer, she couldn't. She didn't want to listen his goodbye, she wasn't going to, she wouldn't stand this life without him ever again and because before than losing him she preferred losing herself so that in her memories he may always stay with her.

When he got into her apartment he saw her there... lying on the floor, more pale than ever, as fragile as she can be, so weak as always, as coward as usual, how could it be that he didn't see it coming? He cried over her death body because even when she wasn't his world, she meant something...  even when she was just the smallest piece of his life, she was something, and her lost had its importance... “But why would she has done such a thing?” He thought while opening her hand and found a paper where he could read: “Just don't leave”.

How could he makes her understand he wasn't going to leave her? Still how could he put together all the broken pieces of her soul? How could he ever be able to understand her and live with her?

And still he was everything for her, he was the sense and the nonsense, he was the music and the screams, he was the secrets and the revealed true; but more than anything... He was her savior and her murderer. 

“I don't want to see the day we say we've had enough...” (Battleships- Daughtry)