I wrote this for you.

I can't even explain how it feels... I'll like to understand what I did... why you did what you did... Maybe I'm just too thick for you, maybe you got done. I knew it, it's so hard to stand me, I knew it wasn't an easy thing since the beginning... But I really thought this time it was gonna be okay, I felt you were a safe place to stay, what a big mistake. I won't ask you to come back... no 'cause deep inside I don't wish it... but 'cause it was your decision to leave, why would I go against your desires? I'm a good girl, do you remember? I'll obey you in every single word, as usual. Are you waiting for me to call? to talk? to try to fix it? I don't even know what have I done... so, waiting for me to give the first step when I don't even understand what's going on is waiting like forever... Why did you do it? Why? Couldn't we fix our problems like normal friends TALKING? it was that hard for us to act normal? I guess it was... because we didn't. I was mad you know... I was really mad, I felt deeply hurt, you touched where it hurts the most... You did what I hate the most... Do you know it? You abandoned me... I'm extremely jealous and crazily possesive because I don't want people that I love to leave me... I want them to stay with me as long as their lifes allow me, that's why I work so hard in every single relationship with the people I love... that's why I give it all. But I just gave you more than all, did you notice it? I hate depending too much on people, at the end they always show me I can't and I shouldn't do it... but you seemed to be secure, a good place to put my heart, you weren't just a friend, can't you see it? You were a best friend, you were A BROTHER, I honestly don't know how I've been facing the latest days... I'm sick, did you know it? You should of get happy, I made you sick & now I'm sick, isn't it great? I hope it is for you... I'll like to hurt myself so you can smile, I really worked so hard to make you happy... I did so many little but important things to show you that you're special... and you're not here now... Can you please come back? You have time yet... it's not too late! Come on! Everything will be the same... I'm so pathetic, ain't I? I'm afraid about stop trusting you... I don't want to stop doing it but... it hurts so much to care so much. Wanna know what I'm doing now? I'm listening his music, yeah, his music... because since you appeared singing his songs, they're stuck in my head... and you're stuck in my heart. Do you remember all those sweet words I used to tell you? Well... they weren't just "sweet words" but real feelings... I really want to hug you, I want to say that I'm sorry for whatever I did, I want you to stay... I want you to say we're going to be best friends forever in sha Allah... Can you say it? Just one more time... I already miss your smile, when you're mad, when you're happy, when you're hyper... You know what used to make me feel really angry when you were angry? I didn't care about you mistreating me... what used to bother me was to know that I couldn't help you, because it doesn't matter how many videos I would do, how many songs I would try to write, how many posts I would publish, how many times I would sing, how many words I would tell you... nothing helps, even when I do my best, I never get it, I never help you to be okay... I really wanna go there and hide myself behind you... Will you still protect me? Can I still hold your hand? Oh, yes, I forgot it, you always put them on your pocket... It's okay, I can still hold your arm, Will you let me? Can I sing one more song for you? But I think this time you won't laugh... Will you cry? I'm asking 'cause I think I'll be crying... just like now, I can cry a river for you... even when I hate crying for my friends, I'm crying for you AGAIN, I've cried so much that I just lost the count, do you know what's the saddest part? My tears won't make you come back... & even if you do, my tears won't make you stay forever... my tears won't do what my heart want you to do. I still want to know the name of your mother! I wanna eat by your side! I wanna run while you walk! I want to repeat after you! I wanna talk with your sisters! I wanna scream 'cause I'm happy to talk with you! Why did you go? Why...? I've been thinking so much about it & I still don't get the answer... Where is my little puppy? I guess he's mad, that's why he's making me cry... You know, even through all I still will be the first person in wish you happy birthday... Yes, I'll beat whoever who even try to be first... I'm going to be the first one & the last one... because I'm going to be there for you in the beginning and in the end. I'm going to be that person who will never stop holding you, even if you already stop it, I'm going to hold your t-shirt, your pant, your shoe, your cap, I won't let you... Who will force me? You left & I let you do it, but I never said I'll leave you too... Did I? No, I didn't, I can't even bear the idea about doing it... It hurts me too much. I will like to hate you... I'll really like to do it... it's too much, it's just too much pain, see I can handle it because I'm not alone... you know Allah is with us, it's just that I'm kind of sad because it's over... Don't you miss my voice? Are you sure about you don't want to listen me singing? Can I talk with your sister one more time?  I guess I can't, I should of stop begging, I bet I look really pathetic... I'm thick so sometimes I just forget to pretend to be smart... You know I know you're not having a good time right now, but I still don't understand the relation between having a bad time in life and leaving one of your best friends... it doesn't make sense at all, I think we should of talk so you can explain me... What do you think? I'll like to go to you & make you stay but... Do you remember how everything started? It wasn't me who go to you but you who came to me... I don't like going behind people because I know I'm pretty annoying, but when you came behind me I felt you really wanted to be my friend... was I wrong? You came & you left... I think it's kind of fair, though, Should I do any move? I'm just confused & this headache will kill me late or soon. I've been trying to pretend I'm strong and I'm going to be okay but I just get tired... I just want you to come here and make me laugh, you're so good in that. I still haven't cried as much as I've laughed cause of you... seems like I need you! So come back, yalla, yalla, yalla! Okay, I know it's useless even dreaming about you'll come to help me... but hey! I like trying & you know it. I'm complaining and whining so much! I should of be more thankful! More more thankful... because I'm grateful even with the bad things you did... You know, for me, a friendship is really unconditional & I really love every single stupid detail of you... everything, I still don't understand why I'm crying so much, I'm going to write the happy part now but I'm still using that sad face on my own happy face, you know thanks for the good times you gave me & for the bad ones as well... thanks for smile and for laugh, thanks for sing, thanks for sending kisses, thanks for getting mad, thanks for being cold, thanks for being funny, thanks for trying to help me with him even when I suck in love, thanks for let me see you on webcam, thanks for talking in arabic, spanish, chinese, german and english with me... and I'm counting even one single word in the mentioned languages, thanks for imagine with me, thanks for the jokes you made me even when it made me looks really ridiculous in front of him at least them made you laugh, thanks for doing meow as a kitty, thanks for answer the phone even when you were sleepy and just said nonsense, thanks for talk with me even when you were sleepy I swear to God that's really funny, thanks thanks thanks a loooooooot for letting me see you smile, thanks for trusting me, thanks for at least pretend you love me, thanks for pay me attention even when I talk too much about him, thanks for act calm even when I was hyper, thanks for breathing, thanks for saying my name in so many ways, thanks for have given me the privilege to know you... but you know? I give thanks the most to God for created you... you're just imperfectly perfect, the best friend ever. I love you so much bunny! ♥

SOMETHING OF ME HAS GONE WITH YOU... AND SOMETHING OF YOU HAVE CAME WITH ME (: I guess that's what real friendship is about...