I Miss You...So Much!

And I think trying that not to miss you isn't enough, 

because my heart's still crying and my body hurts, 

because my hands just think about your name 

and my eyes just wanna see your words...

I'm trying to help it, but seriously, it's so hard. 

I won't do anything and that's the worst part. 

 

Is there, at least, a little part of you, missing me this much?

She's Out Of My Life.

She went running to him and was about to scream: Baby! but then she saw another girl who took his arm and walked by his side, so she stopped.

Right, now I get it. It's not cause I made something wrong, it's cause you made another choice. She thought and her heart felt a big hit but she didn't cry or showed her pain... She just kept on walking.

Next day she went to high school and he was with her again. She got over them, she didn't care about his new girlfriend, in fact, they were nothing.

She was angry, not sad, really upset. She doesn't care about his lovers but she was mad about the fact that he never told her and he even made her feel like a piece of garbage. But it was okay, she won't say nothing, she will act like if that story in the past never happened and she'll follow her own way without him.

Days continued and she just pretended he didn't even exist. She lost herself in her notes and books, because that world was even more interesting than real life. 

After one month ignoring him. He just appear in front of her and told her:

- Hi Mel.

She looked at him for a minute, he was no one, so she changed her direction and continued.

- Melanie Brooke!

Ok, this is too much for him, who does he think he is to talk to me? She thought and in that moment she collided with him.

- What the...? She said while she looked up and saw him again. So, she changed her direction one more time and was about to continued but he took her by the arm and said: 

- Why do you do this to me?

- Because I don't know you. Excuse me. She said this and took her arm away from him. 

Then the girl who had been with him all those weeks appeared screaming: 

- Adan!

But he didn't reply, so she came closer and said:

- Hey brother, is she the girl you've been talking to me about?

Melanie heard her... brother? talking to me about? brother... So she was Samantha, it was the first time she met her. She turned around and saw him again... he was crying, he didn't care about people staring at him, he was just crying and looking at her. He melt her heart one more time.

- Samantha? said the brunnette.

- Do you know me? The blondie answered.

- Yes. Well...no. Hmm.. Adan has talked to me about you. I'm Melanie Brooke.

- Do you know me? The tall guy asked.

- Yes Adan, I remember you now. She said and looked down because she was embarrased.

He gave a step next to her and hugged her so hard that she couldn't breath for 5 seconds.

- I Love You! He screamed.

He loves me...? He didn't talk to me for a whole month. But he says he loves me... Do I Love Him? But I lived without him for a month and stayed alive, Was I Alive without him? I didn't feel my heart beating like now.

- I... I missed you. She didn't say anything else but she drew a big smile on his face. That was good enough for him, his adorable girlfriend has never been very expressive, she has always been just her and he loves her the way she is. He couldn't live if she's out of his life, she was his reason, his logic, his head. Cause since he met her, he lost his head and found his heart... He never felt so alive, since the first time she told him: I like you. It was a lot for her, it was a lot for him. And they were happy, in their own way, they found a way to happiness together.

[ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6DQJPL9Yuq0 ]

Wishes For Us.

I wish the spaces between me and you disappear

Cause I want to see how shines our love.

I wish I could be brave enough

Cause I want to tell you "I Love You So Much".

I wish my eyes penetrate yours

Cause my eyes can't live without yours.

I wish my silences will be your sounds

Cause even in them I have words for you.

I wish I could translate your language

Cause you have your own way to love me.

I wish my attitude won't mix you up

Cause I'm just calling your attention.

I wish my actions show you more

Cause through them I talk you the most.

I wish my words say more than words

Cause I send you feelings in each one.

I wish you could see my dreams

Cause you'll realize I'm all about you.

I wish I could change my past

Cause without you it wasn't good enough.

I wish I could make you happy

Cause leaving you is harder than stay close.

I wish all I wish could make true

Cause you'll see, for me, You're The One.

Madelaine Bustamante

Leave Me Alone...

Sabes... desde que te conozco me he preguntado numerosas veces porque me sometí a mi misma al tortuoso acto de escucharte, de hecho, no entendía cómo es que aún cuando te ignoraba, o te humillaba o incluso te pedía silencio, nunca paraste. 

El principio de esta historia, fue algo pesado para ti...y hostigoso para mí, siéndote sincera, nunca pensé que esta historia fuese a tener tal desenlace, si no fuera por ti, nada hubiese sucedido.

Hay veces en que quisiera saber porque te esforzarse tanto para luego renunciar tan fácilmente ¿Fui demasiado exigente? ¿Te aburriste de mí? ¿Te di muy poco? ¿Qué nos pasó? Supongo que fue un poco de todo, de todo un poco... Aún pienso que exigí en medida que podías darme, que hice lo posible para darle entretenimiento a nuestra relación sin rebasar límites establecidos, di conforme recibí y un poquito más & todo se desplomó sin motivo aparente.

Mi concepto del amor... ¿Sabes cuál era mi concepto del amor? Supongo que se verá muy infantil en alguien de mi edad, pero es verdad si te digo que era muy similar al de una película romántica, en la que él la ama, ella lo ama, tienen diferencias, pero al final siempre terminan juntos y felices, tú rompiste mis esquemas y aún no sé si eso es bueno o malo, en efecto, aún no sé si estoy ayudo a mi maduración o a mi descenso.

¿Recuerdas aún nuestro amor? Nuestras salidas, nuestras bromas, nuestras caricias, nuestras charlas, nuestros besos y nuestros sueños. Aunque nerviosa, esperaba el día en que nuestros caminos quedarán unidos por un voto de amor eterno entre tú y yo, ahora eso no es más que un deseo frustrado que aún me oprime al recordarte. 

Sí, soy consciente de que harías cuanto sea posible para reunirnos nuevamente & agotarías tus recursos al punto de re conquistarme... pero ¿Cuán POCO es posible para ti? y ¿Qué clase de recursos tienes? No comprendes que no necesitas reconquistarme pues sigo enamorada de ti, pero me gustaría que mejores para que no solo yo, sino también tú te consideres merecedor de mí. Porque no puedo predisponerme a dar todo lo que soy y renunciar a mi existencia, por alguien que se dispone solo a absorberme y crear un mundo ficticio para mí, necesito y anhelo más que eso, quiero vida & amor de verdad.

Tal vez cuando leas las páginas viejas de este diario llorarás al recordar lo mucho que nos amamos, después de todo independientemente del concepto machista que tiene la mayoría en lo que respecta a que un hombre lloré, para ti el llorar siempre fue una muestra de sensibilidad y no de debilidad. Pero dime amor mío ¿Cuántos años tienes ya? ¿Cuántos años han pasado y sabes que no volverán? ¿Dónde estás? ¿Dónde estoy? ¿Y qué queda de nosotros ya? Irónicamente mientras escribo esto recuerdo Amor En Tiempos de Cólera y quisiera que las palabras de ese escritor fueran tus palabras, ya que su obra es nuestra historia y si tus sentimientos fueran los suyos de alguna manera me sentiría bendecida & complacida por tanta galantería.

Díme por última vez mi amor, dímelo suavemente, dímelo al oído, susúrrale al viento, deja que de tus viejos labios se escuche la canción del amor & relátame entre promesas que Me Amaste, que Me Amas, que aún me amas y me seguirás Amando... hasta que el amor deje de existir.

Sentado en su mecedora, él leyó por centésima vez esa página amarilla de su diario, y lloró por milésima vez la pérdida del ser amado, se arrepintió como siempre por ser tan desgraciado y le rogó al recuerdo que lo deje en paz. Quería olvidar todo lo que una vez para él, representó esa risa estruendosa y esa actitud imponente, porque después de ella, no fue solo hubo dolor sino también días alegres, tuvo una existencia  provechosa, una esposa fiel, hijos dedicados, y amigos por doquier, pero su corazón ¡Maldito Corazón! se dijo tantas veces, se empeñaba en hacerlo sentir incompleto tras la muerte de aquella que una vez, en su vida, fue suerte. Lamentaba cada día sin ella mientras esta había vivido, pero también agradecía cada día sin ella porque conoció a la que ahora, era su vida.

[ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crbFmpezO4A ]

~Best Of Joy~

Do you know why is she still there? She's not just taking a flower every day from that garden, she's waiting for him, for that little boy who told her that he'll always love her, no matter what. She's waiting for that person who gives her best of joy in her life.

And he was serious about, every single day, he stands out of home at the same time and blow his dandelion with a wish...he wishes she won't forget about their promise. Cause she gives him best of joy in his life.

There will come a day when they'll be together as one forever... cause their love is from the heart.

[ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWct_WmVsMU ]